Wednesday, November 14, 2012

A Safe Place

She knew that it was time for a return to the mountain trails. Kamali, her name of native American heritage meaning "spirit guide", needs the peace that awaits. 
Kamali has lived a tumultuous life. Her refuge has always been solitude. Her silence often misunderstood. Her reticence mistaken as shyness. It is, simply, her nature to listen, observe and learn. Her strength was born of necessity. Walls built to shelter the heart of a child. 
She has returned to seek the wisdom of Mother Earth. With each step, she is pulled closer into her embrace. Knowing that when she makes her departure, it will be with a purified heart. As she has played in the crystal waters found here; so is her spirit cleansed by the flow of nature. The return is necessary. The healing, essential. 
For Kamali is the keeper of a secret. A secret revealed to few, for she has learned not all are receptive. Always known for her strength, most knowing her quiet nature, how could she reveal the source of the spirit guide? How could she explain to them, that their pain is her pain. Their joy, her own. Is it a blessing or a curse? She searches the creases in faces created in struggles. Their hearts cry out, pain upon pain, unknown to most. Shouldering their burdens, placing hers aside. Reasons not understood. She senses a cause, a purpose. This she cannot share with others. Only, in her safe place on mountain trails can she ease this burden. 
Stopping to sit on a fallen tree, her thoughts wander through her past. She remembers clearly the first time it happened. The brokenhearted was bowed in pain. She approached and reached out to comfort. With the touch of her fingertips, she was overcome with their despair. Their fear, so intense. Their pain was crushing. Tears flowed down Kamali's cheeks. The brokenhearted rose and turned to Kamali. The despair was gone from their face. There was only peace. With a compassionate look and such tenderness, she pulled Kamali close to return the comfort. What had just happened? 
As she sits on the forest floor, the emotion of that moment floods her. Tears fall, again. She reaches to her side, tracing fingertips across the roughened surface of the fallen tree on which she rests, sensing it's history. She understands the energies it has absorbed to bring it to this point. The energies, she has absorbed in life have brought much change to her. No, she must be careful about what she reveals. She rises, the rustling of fallen leaves a soothing sound. Deeper into the forest, she travels. The sound of the creek's flow fades. Now, the sound of her footsteps, her only companion. She knows that nature will be the only companion she needs. In her daily walk in life, she is treated harshly by some. They sense she is different and consider it a threat. She speaks carefully around them, if at all. 
Others seem drawn to her. Of them, she takes even more care. They are unaware of why they are drawn. Once, she had sought their acceptance and kindness. To accept their kindness, means a risk of making that connection. The connection often comes with their pain; at times, experiencing their emotion as her own. She has seen the depths of despair in her own life, has been lost in it's darkness. She recognizes it's dark face in those she cares for. For her own protection, she must take care in who she allows close. The burden of others pain can be overwhelming for her. She is learning to manage, carefully, this gift. Always, she returns to the solace of the mountains.
She stops once more to trace her fingers over the pattern of a tree trunk near the trail. The hill to her left rises. She tilts her head to see the Smokies ridge top. To her right, is a downhill slope.  She leans close to peer to the bottom. Another creek flows far below. Silently, she observes the trail winding before her. As she traces the texture of the tree, she thinks of her daily walk in life. She meets such people. When she greets them, their gaze is so intense. She anticipates the words, she's heard so often.."Do I know you?" She shakes her head and smiles, "No, we've never met".  It wasn't her they recognized. They saw themselves in her eyes. Looking into a mirror to the human soul. They were reflected and liked what they saw. She knows a connection was made. It is safe for she will never see them, again. She treasures these moments, tucking them away like gems for safekeeping. 
She doesn't understand her complete purpose. Those closest to her that hold her secret, believe she was chosen. Kamali, spirit guide, protector of the lost, the struggling. In her own struggles in life she learned to love the unloveable, because she was unloved. She learned to see beauty where it wasn't evident, because she wasn't beautiful. She learned to accept others,  because she longed for acceptance. 
As she takes the burden for others, so the Smokies do for her. She walks the quiet trails and hidden pathways releasing her burdens. As she walks, Kamali whispers softly to the mountain's spirit. She listens as the mountains respond.
The peace she came for has been granted. She has learned not to seek the acceptance of others, only to offer it. She offers a safe place. She seeks her acceptance only on a mountain trail. 
Speaking an ancient language, a tongue heard only between human and nature. Listening to the whispers of the Smokies, she has found the peace she come for. Her safe place.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

My World

entering this shadowed world
alone, not lonely
lost, yet found

many fear to come alone.
many, to come, at all.

She seeks this solitude. For, it isn't nature, that is to be feared.  There are no hidden motives to be wary of here. The rocky precipice, one understands, is to be carefully, crossed. Unlike the jungle of the world, where you're left, never knowing where the danger may lie.  Nature doesn't take. It, only, gives. The gifts, it offers are abundant. Silence heard, in the wind through treetops, is laden with it's spirit. Stillness, found in the movement, of the trembling leaf. The safe haven found in the forest, on the mountain... always welcoming.


Hearing movement through the trees, pathside, she slows to search, seeing nothing. Only a spider, explores the trail with her. She makes her way carefully around it, so as not to disturb it. This creature intends no harm. 

With the setting sun, the forest has dimmed. She pauses beneath a tree to absorb the delicate hues of nature that surround her. Leaning her back against it's rough bark, she lifts her face. What's left of the evening sky, peeks through dark leaves. The mountain melody, so gentle. The hum of crickets, call of birds, the murmur of the distant river. The peace flows into heart. 

tilts her head, listens to night songs, shadows serenade, smiles softly, lowers gaze, walks away

my world

Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Spirit of a Warrior

Stepping onto the forest trail, she looks back to see if anyone has noticed her slipping away, into the dusk.  Aiyana knows she is expected to stay in the village, this evening. She is aware of the duties expected of her by the tribe. Too much time has passed, since she had visited the trails of her mountains, alone. 

Her tribe feels the mountains trails are no place for her to be. "Leave the wilderness to the braves. Their strength is better suited for it."  Yet, strength was her destiny. Born to a warrior, a warrior with no sons; she has been allowed to run free. She lives, as she was named, Aiyana, the "ever blossoming".

Always, she had broken the mold, cast for her. The tribe calls her strange. As a child, she was often found in the forest, alone. To find her, they must summons her from the treetops. She would never be a proper squaw. Of this, she was sure. 

As she walks the trail, she looks to her side, where crystal waters flow. Her spirit is mindful of their healing powers. She will always be drawn to the waters. Their healing powers cleanse her embattled spirit.

She stands by the waters, thinking of her past. Taken as a young bride, she had dutifully and proudly fulfilled her role.  Once, he had been proud to call her his own. Yet, he could never learn to tame her spirit. Unaccepting of her ways, he cast her aside for another . She returned to the spirit of the mountains for healing. The sloping hills and rising peaks were her family. The forest animals, her brothers and sisters.

Always, she has sought solace here. Stopping, she breathes the scent of the earth. Tilting her head, she views the same treetops that she loved to climb, as a child. They seem to reach to the heavens, brushing the skies. The farther she moves into the shadows, the more she awakens.

Back at the village, they would be searching for her. She knows that most will be thinking, "Foolish girl has wandered off, again. Why isn't she with us, preparing a meal?"  

Yet, she knows, there is one. The brave who understands her fascination with these mountains. He will know where she has gone. She has gone to heal her spirit. It is their shared understanding, of that safe place, that created their bond. Her safe place where she is allowed to, simply, be... "ever blossoming". He is glad that she has the spirit of a warrior, defying the steadfast ways of the tribe. She cherishes his words, "You are as a butterfly. You cannot be held too tightly or your spirit will be crushed". She carries his quiet strength with her, as she moves through the forest. She is thankful, for that safe place, found in his heart.

Again, she stops. As still as she can be, in the growing darkness. The only movement, is that, of the tremble of the leaves. Closing her eyes, she listens to the silence. In this silence, Aiyana becomes one with Mother Earth. 

Once more, she has renewed her spirit. 

The spirit of a warrior.